“I CANNOT WATCH ANYMORE YOUTUBE VIDEOS OR ELSE MY EYEBALLS WILL FALL OUT.”
Dear Entrepreneur spinning your wheels as you scour YouTube (… and Google… and Facebook…) for answers as to why your copywriting’s not converting, all the while losing sales, time, money, and precious momentum.
GOING NOWHERE QUICKLY?
Dear passionate entrepreneur,
You’re an expert in your field and you love what you do. You started your business to gain freedom, change lives, and make an impact in this world. Yet when it comes to packaging up all the right words that move people to buy, you don’t want to sound sleazy, salesy, or like a copycat.
Far from it.
You want true-to-life, sales-centered content that flows naturally and without a hitch.
But there’s this one problem… or two… or three that’s getting in the way between you and a happy-ending funnel: inevitably you get stuck DIY-ing your copy, duct-taping all the components together after hours upon hours of Internet research, and then resort to living on a prayer hoping it converts.
No resolution. Stuck in a rut. And the scene begins to dim…
In a haste for resolve, when things don’t work out as expected, you dive even further down the Internet Rabbit Hole searching anxiously online for answers.
Rinky-dink conversion rates and meager engagement make it obvious that something’s gone awry with your choice of words… But can you search away your problems this time?
At this point you start to wonder, “Am I even cut out for all this copywriting stuff?”
Sure, in a pinch you get snappy feedback from Facebook and timely tutorials from YouTube — gathering knowledge like a quester. But all the while you secretly hope *finger’s crossed* that you’ll pool enough information together to jump the struggle-bus and get the heck outta Nowhereville.
We get it. The Funnel Sisters know that the road to copywriting confidence (and conversions) is bumpy and riddled with trial and error (dare we say even blood, sweat, and tears). But if we lay it on the line, at this point you’re not leveraging your network when seeking answers for hours and hours with diminishing returns, you’re sounding an alarm call for help.
Here’s the cold hard truth you’ll never find anywhere on the Internet:
Especially direct-response sales copywriting.
It flops. The message is completely lost. And worse, you end up sounding like a used car salesman instead of a natural conversationalist.
Internet Truth to Live by in 2022: Scrolling the World Wide Web for answers and actually coming out on top hardly ever happens.
Just ask us.
We did it in the very beginning of our personal business ventures and felt overwhelm, frustration, and disillusionment. (The trifecta of feelings that lead to entrepreneurial exhaustion and burnout.)
But don’t worry, you’re not going to make the same mistakes we did.
Because at this point in time, if you’re still reading the words on this page, you’re probably thinking to yourself, “This sounds a lot like me and I need help, too!”
We intercepted the S.O.S. and hear you loud and clear.
Introducing the shortcut fix and first step to reviving cold converting and comatose copy:
With our copywriting audit, you don’t have to send out the Bat Signal call for help. You don’t have to resort to YouTube or Facebooking answers. And you definitely don’t have to wonder why your words aren’t working.
That’s in the struggle-bus past.
Your future is the land of Milk and Honey, because we get right to work auditing, diagnosing, and providing actionable insights you can bet your bottom dollar on.
How does it work?
Simply submit your work to us after the Zoom call, we’ll look it over in a timely manner, provide specific and detailed recommendations to improve your copy, and then hop on Zoom again afterwards to go over all of our findings. (And put into a nifty document you can reference later.)
Getting back on the right track crushing your copywriting, and turning your roadblocks into sweet conversions.
You’re only one Zoom call away from fixing your writing woes.
Hi! We’re Chess and Nickie, professional copywriters (and copy fixer uppers) here to help you get rid of your copy worries for good and bust through the conversions like we busted through our jeans after quarantine.
Consider us part of your official funnel family. The two ladies you can count on to help when you’re in a rut and need a literal lifeline to make all this online business stuff work.
All you need to do is educate us on your product, your biz, and we take care of the rest.
Introductory Zoom Call to go over your offer, funnel, and address what your main copywriting concerns are
A comprehensive 14-point sales funnel copywriting review, inspection, and analysis
An official write-up with suggestions
on how to improve conversions and optimize for sales
One 30-Minute Zoom Call Value $75
14-Point Copywriting Audit Value $97
Official Writeup of Audit Findings Value $297
Audio Recording of Audit Findings Value $47
Funnel Sisters $50 Off Coupon Value $50
Funnel Sisters 15oz mug Value $20; US Only
NORMAL PRICE $586
STEPH LOAIZA, THE SIX SISTERS’ STUFF
“THANK YOU. This is the best launch our company has ever had, and the very first “funnel” we’ve ever done. You took our funnel from “okay, I might buy this” to “Oh my gosh they get me, and I need this product!” with just a few tweaks and specific wording. You went above and beyond to serve us in such a quick turnaround time, and we will be recommending you to everyone we know.” “
MARLY BIRD, KNITWEAR & CROCHET DESIGNER
“As a newbie in the funnel world, I was eager to build my first funnel. But as I started on my path to a gorgeous funnel, it was clear that I needed a more hands on guide. That is where The Funnel Sisters stepped in and acted as my funnel guru’s. They helped me with copy, with tech, and with emotional support and encouragement as we got close to launch. Nicole and Chessica helped me get to where I wanted to go. My first funnel was a success because the offer AND the funnel were amazing. I couldn’t have done it without them. #customer4life”
JULIE LAMP, PARADIGM INTERIORS.
“The Funnel Sisters are a fantastic duo that will get your graphics and copy dialed in! Nickie and Chessica have great personalities, they are good listeners, excellent communicators, and they get the work done! I highly recommend them to help you develop your assets and sales funnel!”
We strive for 100% satisfaction with our clients and shoot for exceeding industry standards and bench rates for sales funnel conversions. With that said, love what we deliver you or get your money back. That’s our simple promise to you.
Answers to questions you may have about The Funnel Sisters’ audit service.
HOW TO DO GET MY AUDIT?
That’s a great question and we’re happy you asked! You’ll get an email from us shortly after purchase with all your product details and a link to our private calendar to get everything started. Once we’ve chatted, reviewed your sales funnel, and completed the audit, the findings are delivered via email along with important follow-up info.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO GET MY AUDIT COMPLETED?
Just sit back, relax, and let us do all the hard work! Audits will be complete no later than 3 business days from the date of purchase. We’re quick and speedy when it comes to timely delivery (and especially when conversions are on the line!).
ARE REFUNDS OFFERED?
Although we know you’ll get a TON of value from this service, to answer your question: Yes. We will absolutely provide a refund within 14 days if you are not 100% happy (but we trust you’ll be over-the-moon pleased with your purchase!).
If you’re at the end of our funnel still engaging then *something* about our offer has resonated with you. Before you hit that back button and do nothing achieving the same results, and in the same place of stumped and stuck, take two minutes and schedule a call.
We’re asking $149 which is chump change compared to the damage bad copy is doing to your business — not to mention the disservice to all the customers who genuinely need your products and services but won’t take action because something is off.
Bottom line: your not connecting with your customers if sales aren’t consistently coming in, and 9 times out of 10, it’s a problem with your copy. (After all, if words don’t sell then what does?)
So let me ask you something before we depart and go our separate ways: If you only got clear answers as to what’s exactly going wrong with your copy, so you can turn the tide for your business and begin converting cold looky-loos into paying customers, would it be worth this small investment? If you said, ‘yes’, click here now.
This isn’t sayonara, it’s see you later.
Chugging out great copy,
chessica x nickie
Funnel, design, and copy by The Funnel Sisters.